Why Babies Cry When You Sit and Stop When You Stand
I’m sure I created a path on the floor when my daughter was a baby. She would often cry loudly at night, and the only thing that seemed to work was walking back and forth on the floor for hours. Well, in those early morning hours, it felt like hours. And the hardest part was that just when I thought she was about to fall asleep and I was about to put her down, sure enough, the loud cries would start again! So why do babies cry when you sit or put them down?
I’m not the only one who has experienced this with their child. Explaining this phenomenon can be challenging. At your most exhausted moments, you still have to stand, walk, sway, and rock. So, let’s explore why babies cry when you sit and stop when you stand and why standing or sitting makes a difference for them.
1. This Behavior is Completely Normal
First, it’s important to note that this behavior is completely normal in infants, and science can help explain why it happens. Infants are very vulnerable to various environmental threats. So, they rely on their parents to keep them safe. To support this, babies have innate and very primitive instincts to give parents critical cues about their needs.
This specific instinctive behavior originates from a time when we didn’t live in the artificial structures we have today. From a time when we still had to run and hide to keep ourselves and our families safe from dangerous animals in our environment. In fact, this instinct isn’t something we only see in infants. You might even know about and recognize it. It’s called the fight-or-flight response.
2. Biological Response
- – The biological response from our bodies when it detects a threat in the environment is a prediction that we may need to fight or flee from danger, and:
- – Our bodies prepare to defend themselves by increasing blood pressure, heart rate, blood sugar, and fats to provide the body with extra energy for whatever needs to be done.
- – Blood flow is redirected from other parts of the body to certain muscle groups we need to keep ourselves safe. For example, to our arms and hands for fighting, and our legs and feet for running or kicking.
- – Muscles tense up so that our bodies are stronger and more agile.
- – So, what does all this biological knowledge have to do with why babies cry when we sit and won’t let us be?
3. Infants Are Very Vulnerable
It all comes down to infants being very vulnerable. When their diaper is dirty, when they’re hungry, thirsty, or need connection, they can feel stressed or threatened, which is a normal response. Their little bodies go through the same physical reflexes as adults.
The difference is that infants are too small and underdeveloped to run away or fight the threat themselves. Research has shown that when parents stand up with a stressed infant in their arms, the baby’s heart rate begins to decrease. This indicates that the biological response is decreasing, meaning the baby feels safe.
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4. The Key Lies in Instinct
Essentially, your baby feels safe because, instinctively, they know that if you are standing or walking, you are more capable of escaping danger. This makes them feel much safer and calmer than being held while you are sitting. Sitting makes it harder for us to move quickly to respond and escape a threat.
Some infants are more cooperative and gradually quiet down, their bodies becoming calmer, not only because they feel safe but also from an evolutionary perspective, it’s easier for parents to flee with a calm child. For example, if the child is squirming, carrying them becomes difficult, or if they cry loudly, it attracts attention.
Although it can be frustrating and difficult to understand why babies cry when you sit and stop when you stand, there are scientific reasons for this. It’s reassuring to know that our babies aren’t deliberately being difficult. Remember, your child is only crying because they don’t understand that they are still safe when you sit down. And you can tap into one of the oldest biological and evolutionary responses to help calm them down. Even if it means walking back and forth for hours to do it!
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